My favourite animal.
I'm going to talk about my favourite animal.
My favourite animal is a cat. Because the cat is very lovely.
A white cat is kept in my house. Her name is Tofu.
She came to my house in the winter three years ago. Her eyes are very beautiful blues. She has three children. They are all lovely children who look like her.
Hereafter, I want to make her important as family's member. Thank you.
- Madoka, 14 years old.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Oh THERE'S that 5.93 billion yen in cash! I was wondering...
In the news on Wednesday, March 12: "Two women arrested for record-high inheritence tax evasion after Y5.93 billion cash found in their garage." http://www.japantoday.com/jp/news/430740
That's just over 57 million Canadian dollars worth of yen. The idea was to avoid the inheritance tax which would've taken nearly $28 million from the $80 million they inherited from their father (a very successful businessman who passed away in 2004), leaving the sisters with a paltry $52 million. So instead, they hid this unimaginably large amount of cash in cardboard boxes which were stacked in the moldy garage of one of the sisters. The tax man came snooping and they were found out.
It was Yoshie, a lady in my English conversation class, who brought up this story during class. We all laughed at the claim by the arrested women that she had "forgotten about the cash" kept in her garage.
Inevitably, talked turned to what we would do if we had $57 million in cash sitting in our garage. We agreed that it would be nearly impossible to spend it all, but that some leisurely traveling around the world would be nice, send our kids through university, etc.
Takao said that he would buy, like, ten dorayaki cakes and eat them all at once. "What a small dream!", laughed Kimie.
Old Inoue asserted that he wouldn't want that kind of money. "I'd have to go around with ten bodyguards all the time!".
Someone said that they wouldn't mind having the money as long as nobody else knew they had it. Interesting. It reminded me something comedian Dave Chappelle said in an interview. He said that the sudden wealth and fame he got didn't change him so much as it changed the people around him. "You know in cartoons, when a dude is real hungry and he looks at his friend and he sees a roasted chicken? That's what it's like. That's how people start to see you."
-------------------------------
In other news, the weather is finally starting to warm up, which means I no longer sleep with 4 layers of clothes and I don't see my breath when I wake up in the mornings.
Fig. A: Dorayaki cake (sweet red-bean paste cake). You can't get the scale of them from this picture, but they're about the size of a small pancake.
In the news on Wednesday, March 12: "Two women arrested for record-high inheritence tax evasion after Y5.93 billion cash found in their garage." http://www.japantoday.com/jp/news/430740
That's just over 57 million Canadian dollars worth of yen. The idea was to avoid the inheritance tax which would've taken nearly $28 million from the $80 million they inherited from their father (a very successful businessman who passed away in 2004), leaving the sisters with a paltry $52 million. So instead, they hid this unimaginably large amount of cash in cardboard boxes which were stacked in the moldy garage of one of the sisters. The tax man came snooping and they were found out.
It was Yoshie, a lady in my English conversation class, who brought up this story during class. We all laughed at the claim by the arrested women that she had "forgotten about the cash" kept in her garage.
Inevitably, talked turned to what we would do if we had $57 million in cash sitting in our garage. We agreed that it would be nearly impossible to spend it all, but that some leisurely traveling around the world would be nice, send our kids through university, etc.
Takao said that he would buy, like, ten dorayaki cakes and eat them all at once. "What a small dream!", laughed Kimie.
Old Inoue asserted that he wouldn't want that kind of money. "I'd have to go around with ten bodyguards all the time!".
Someone said that they wouldn't mind having the money as long as nobody else knew they had it. Interesting. It reminded me something comedian Dave Chappelle said in an interview. He said that the sudden wealth and fame he got didn't change him so much as it changed the people around him. "You know in cartoons, when a dude is real hungry and he looks at his friend and he sees a roasted chicken? That's what it's like. That's how people start to see you."
-------------------------------
In other news, the weather is finally starting to warm up, which means I no longer sleep with 4 layers of clothes and I don't see my breath when I wake up in the mornings.
Fig. A: Dorayaki cake (sweet red-bean paste cake). You can't get the scale of them from this picture, but they're about the size of a small pancake.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Black Cab Sessions.
AWESOME music/video project by Just So Films and Hidden Fruit.
Chapters 2 and 28 are my favourites thus far! Emmy The Great rules my heart!
www.blackcabsessions.com
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
English Discush.
"In most countries, women outlive men by an average of 5-6 years. Why is this?". This is the question I posed to my English conversation class tonight.
Takao, the sixty-something-year-old retired math teacher and the most fluent in our class, responded immediately: "It's because women are physically stronger. I'm not talking about muscles! I'm talking about the physical capacity to endure."
I asked him why he thought that?
"Well, take child birth, for example! There's NO WAY I could do that! There's a saying that, wait, what is it... there's a saying that says giving birth to a child is like pushing a watermelon out of your nostril." To which Yoshie, mother of 3 adult sons, expressed some doubt: "It's not quite like that..." and Kimie, recent grandmother, laughed outright said she'd never heard of that saying before.
I wondered aloud whether women have healthier lifestyles than men, and thus live healthier, longer lives? For example, don't men usually drink and smoke more than women? Nay, said Takao (who does not drink, but whose wife does).
Twenty-something-year-old Rie said it's because women handle stress better. She said that women have more flexible minds and can think about many things at once; "if something bothers us, we just drop it and move on."
At this seventy-something-year-old Inoue, he of the massive English written compositions (see December 13 2007 post), said:
"I will tell you the correct answer.[much laughter from the group] It's because God ordered women to live longer so that they can care for their husbands."
To which Rie said, "Well, widows do seem happy." [lots of laughter]
"In most countries, women outlive men by an average of 5-6 years. Why is this?". This is the question I posed to my English conversation class tonight.
Takao, the sixty-something-year-old retired math teacher and the most fluent in our class, responded immediately: "It's because women are physically stronger. I'm not talking about muscles! I'm talking about the physical capacity to endure."
I asked him why he thought that?
"Well, take child birth, for example! There's NO WAY I could do that! There's a saying that, wait, what is it... there's a saying that says giving birth to a child is like pushing a watermelon out of your nostril." To which Yoshie, mother of 3 adult sons, expressed some doubt: "It's not quite like that..." and Kimie, recent grandmother, laughed outright said she'd never heard of that saying before.
I wondered aloud whether women have healthier lifestyles than men, and thus live healthier, longer lives? For example, don't men usually drink and smoke more than women? Nay, said Takao (who does not drink, but whose wife does).
Twenty-something-year-old Rie said it's because women handle stress better. She said that women have more flexible minds and can think about many things at once; "if something bothers us, we just drop it and move on."
At this seventy-something-year-old Inoue, he of the massive English written compositions (see December 13 2007 post), said:
"I will tell you the correct answer.[much laughter from the group] It's because God ordered women to live longer so that they can care for their husbands."
To which Rie said, "Well, widows do seem happy." [lots of laughter]
Saturday, March 01, 2008
**WARNING: This post may contain scenes which are not suitable for those who are adverse to large phallic sculptures**
The Penis Shrine.
An acquaintance of mine, a lady by the name of Mayumi who works as a receptionist at city hall, wanted to take me and Brett on a road trip. Accompanying us was Izumi, Mayumi's friend. The four of us had gone out for dinner once before while Tola was visiting over winter holidays.
According to Mayumi, there are only two such "fertility" shrines in all of Japan. I've completely forgotten the Japanese name for the place so I can't check to verify if this is true or not. Let's say it is.
Basically, hidden away in some random corner of very rural Yamaguchi, there is a small little wooden shrine containing hundreds of penis sculptures, most of them to scale. Some, as you can see from the pictures below, are quite prodigious.
Izumi: "Well, I came all this way, I might as well touch it." If you look closely, the tip of this particular member has been rubbed to a shiney sheen from countless people touching it for good luck.
--------------
I read the English translation of the legend of this shrine and it didn't seem to be connected in any way to fertility or penises. Essentially, some dude a long time ago did something bad in his village. He was run out of the village and was given over to mob justice. He managed to escape and later in his life, he erected (I beg your pardon) this little shrine, for some reason. The only connection I can see, if I read between the lines, is that the man might have been the victim of a John Bobbitt-like fate at the hands of the mob, and thus, later in life, wished he could have kids, or something. Anyways, the story I just recounted above is probably not accurate at all, it's going on some very fuzzy memory-work.
The reason why my memory is fuzzy is because Brett and I spent most of our collective energy that day trying not to throw up in the backseat of Mayumi's car. We spent an agonizing 5 hours, round trip, in that hell. This is something that has stricken both Brett and I ONLY in Yamaguchi, Japan. The likely reason is that the mountainous terrain of Yamaguchi makes for very windy and hilly roads. Combine that with the fact that for some reason, the Japanese drivers I've ridden with have very twitchy gas/brake feet, and you've got a fail-proof recipe for car-sickness.
I, through some deep-breathing mediation, managed to master my nausea, but Brett was in bad shape. I joked to him that the fertility shrine must be really potent (ha!) because he's already experiencing morning sickness!* He kept it together through a superhuman effort, despite my telling him stories about various throwing-up stories I'd heard or experienced. I did this because I thought it would make him feel not-so-bad about being sick. But he didn't seem to appreciate my amusing stories. All he said was, gasping, "Dude-don't-talk-about-it. It's-like-a-no-hitter."
[*Actually, I did not make this joke at the time; it came to mind just now and I think it would've been a witty thing to say at the time so I've included it as part of that narrative.]
The Penis Shrine.
An acquaintance of mine, a lady by the name of Mayumi who works as a receptionist at city hall, wanted to take me and Brett on a road trip. Accompanying us was Izumi, Mayumi's friend. The four of us had gone out for dinner once before while Tola was visiting over winter holidays.
According to Mayumi, there are only two such "fertility" shrines in all of Japan. I've completely forgotten the Japanese name for the place so I can't check to verify if this is true or not. Let's say it is.
Basically, hidden away in some random corner of very rural Yamaguchi, there is a small little wooden shrine containing hundreds of penis sculptures, most of them to scale. Some, as you can see from the pictures below, are quite prodigious.
I'm guessing these are the wishes/prayers of past visitors to the shrine ("Please grant us a baby. Let it be a girl and let her have Zhang Ziyi's face").
Izumi: "Well, I came all this way, I might as well touch it." If you look closely, the tip of this particular member has been rubbed to a shiney sheen from countless people touching it for good luck.
--------------I read the English translation of the legend of this shrine and it didn't seem to be connected in any way to fertility or penises. Essentially, some dude a long time ago did something bad in his village. He was run out of the village and was given over to mob justice. He managed to escape and later in his life, he erected (I beg your pardon) this little shrine, for some reason. The only connection I can see, if I read between the lines, is that the man might have been the victim of a John Bobbitt-like fate at the hands of the mob, and thus, later in life, wished he could have kids, or something. Anyways, the story I just recounted above is probably not accurate at all, it's going on some very fuzzy memory-work.
The reason why my memory is fuzzy is because Brett and I spent most of our collective energy that day trying not to throw up in the backseat of Mayumi's car. We spent an agonizing 5 hours, round trip, in that hell. This is something that has stricken both Brett and I ONLY in Yamaguchi, Japan. The likely reason is that the mountainous terrain of Yamaguchi makes for very windy and hilly roads. Combine that with the fact that for some reason, the Japanese drivers I've ridden with have very twitchy gas/brake feet, and you've got a fail-proof recipe for car-sickness.
I, through some deep-breathing mediation, managed to master my nausea, but Brett was in bad shape. I joked to him that the fertility shrine must be really potent (ha!) because he's already experiencing morning sickness!* He kept it together through a superhuman effort, despite my telling him stories about various throwing-up stories I'd heard or experienced. I did this because I thought it would make him feel not-so-bad about being sick. But he didn't seem to appreciate my amusing stories. All he said was, gasping, "Dude-don't-talk-about-it. It's-like-a-no-hitter."
[*Actually, I did not make this joke at the time; it came to mind just now and I think it would've been a witty thing to say at the time so I've included it as part of that narrative.]
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Keitai Photos.
These are pictures I've taken with my cell phone ("keitai")
The bartender of a Kudamatsu bar called Lern Ber helping Brett and I plan out our Kyushu trip in December.
Our odaiko (lit. "big drum") waits to be loaded after an outdoor performance in Hiroshima.
Ko-chan, 3 years. She is the youngest drummer, the third daughter of Saori, who is the kick-assest drummer in our group. The three girls (aged 7, 5, 3 years) took my cell and took pictures of each other on the bus-ride back from the Hiroshima gig. Check out the crazy au-naturel hair below. I don't understand how it did that.
An aikido meet.And finally....
Brett (on top) and Paul. You write your own caption.
Valentines Day.
I got a stack of cards from my students! It was their homework, though.
One especially touching card was written by a boy who wrote:
"Dear Ken, Thank you for your kind teaching! You are the Prince of Teachers!!"
Followed by, in big bold strokes: 下克上!!
I checked my dictionary to see what that meant: "Supplanting one's superior".
Yikes.
I got a stack of cards from my students! It was their homework, though.
One especially touching card was written by a boy who wrote:
"Dear Ken, Thank you for your kind teaching! You are the Prince of Teachers!!"
Followed by, in big bold strokes: 下克上!!
I checked my dictionary to see what that meant: "Supplanting one's superior".
Yikes.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Thursday, February 07, 2008
My Dad Is Stronger!
I prepared a lesson using comparatives -- a very simple lesson, but one that encouraged kids to be creative. The format was basically: My dad is stronger than a _________.
Here are some noteworthy responses:
"My dad is stronger than E.T." - Ryusuke. I told him quite honestly that that's not saying much since E.T. is probably the wimpiest alien to ever invade earth. On the other hand,
"My dad is stronger than an alien!" - Mizuki, who, when I asked for clarification, made clear that the aliens in question were in fact from the Aliens movie trilogy (see picture below).
The class voted and it was determined that Mizuki's dad is way stronger than Ryusuke's dad.
After we mastered that, we moved on to more comparatives:
"My dad is rounder than a basketball!"
"My dad is smarter than Edison!"
"My dad is older than the earth!" (So is mine, I said to the boy.)
And finally, to:
"My boyfriend is cooler than Youta!" - from a girl who obviously didn't think much of the boy sitting beside her.
"My mind is wider than the sea!"
And some very metaphysical mind-exploding ones such as:
"The mouse is bigger than the world".
And one girl who really wanted an A+:
"Ken is cooler than any Hollywood star!", written by a very bright and cheerful girl named Kanako with whom I had the following conversation just before class (ALL in Japanese):
Kanako: Hey, Ken! Are you coming to my class today??
Ken: Hey Kanako! Sure am!
Kanako: Sweet! By the way, I'm really good at English!
Ken: Really?!
Kanako: Yeah, I've gotten like, pretty much perfect on all my tests!
Ken: Wow! That's amazing!
Kanako: But I can't speak English at all. I can only write it. I can't really read it either. But I'm really really good at tests. Seriously, Ken, I'm amazing!
Ken: [in his head] I find it amazing that you are praising yourself so boldly in front of everyone in a society which holds self-deprecation in the highest regard. [Out loud]: We shall see, Kanako, we shall see.
Kanako: I'm really good.
I prepared a lesson using comparatives -- a very simple lesson, but one that encouraged kids to be creative. The format was basically: My dad is stronger than a _________.
Here are some noteworthy responses:
"My dad is stronger than E.T." - Ryusuke. I told him quite honestly that that's not saying much since E.T. is probably the wimpiest alien to ever invade earth. On the other hand,
"My dad is stronger than an alien!" - Mizuki, who, when I asked for clarification, made clear that the aliens in question were in fact from the Aliens movie trilogy (see picture below).
The class voted and it was determined that Mizuki's dad is way stronger than Ryusuke's dad.After we mastered that, we moved on to more comparatives:
"My dad is rounder than a basketball!"
"My dad is smarter than Edison!"
"My dad is older than the earth!" (So is mine, I said to the boy.)
And finally, to:
"My boyfriend is cooler than Youta!" - from a girl who obviously didn't think much of the boy sitting beside her.
"My mind is wider than the sea!"
And some very metaphysical mind-exploding ones such as:
"The mouse is bigger than the world".
And one girl who really wanted an A+:
"Ken is cooler than any Hollywood star!", written by a very bright and cheerful girl named Kanako with whom I had the following conversation just before class (ALL in Japanese):
Kanako: Hey, Ken! Are you coming to my class today??
Ken: Hey Kanako! Sure am!
Kanako: Sweet! By the way, I'm really good at English!
Ken: Really?!
Kanako: Yeah, I've gotten like, pretty much perfect on all my tests!
Ken: Wow! That's amazing!
Kanako: But I can't speak English at all. I can only write it. I can't really read it either. But I'm really really good at tests. Seriously, Ken, I'm amazing!
Ken: [in his head] I find it amazing that you are praising yourself so boldly in front of everyone in a society which holds self-deprecation in the highest regard. [Out loud]: We shall see, Kanako, we shall see.
Kanako: I'm really good.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
TOKYO/ODAIBA.
This dude was bad, and he knew it. A Jheri curl AND leather Harley jacket!
Giant spider sculpture in Roppongi.
Rainbow Bridge.
A street performer with the best spot in Tokyo.
The view from a giant ferris wheel that, at it's apex, is 110m high which was a Guiness World Record in 1999(?) according to the automated voice that spoke to us in the box.
I have no idea why the Statue of Liberty is on Odaiba.
Tokyo Tower. I was rooted to the spot as I saw the blimp racing toward the tower in what could only result in a fiery disaster, but actually, that didn't happen.
This dude was bad, and he knew it. A Jheri curl AND leather Harley jacket!
Giant spider sculpture in Roppongi.
Harujuku, a happenin' place for people who like to shop and walk in very crowded conditions.
ODAIBA.
ODAIBA.
Odaiba is an artificial island in Tokyo Bay. "It's like going to the future", Azusa said. I can see what she means, with the weird sky scrapers, looping overpasses, and shiny apartment buildings. Odaiba was originally a part of a series of six artificial island fortresses designed for defense purposes in late the mid 1800s. The word "daiba" actually refers to the cannon batteries that were placed on these islands. Today, it's a popular tourist destination and it has it's moments on a sunny day.
Azusa! Our guide in Tokyo. You may remember Azusa as the friend I made in Bangkok, Thailand this past summer. See September (thanks for the correction, Kennel!) 2007 post for more.
This is a restaurant with a junior-highschool classroom motif. In fact the entire floor in this mall (called Deck's) is designed to look retro so that people from "our mothers' generation" can revisit their youth, said Azusa.
Also in this mall was an indoor test-driving course for tiny futuristic Toyoto cars. It'd be nice to have a picture of it, but I didn't take one.
Also in this mall was an indoor test-driving course for tiny futuristic Toyoto cars. It'd be nice to have a picture of it, but I didn't take one.
Rainbow Bridge.
A street performer with the best spot in Tokyo.
The view from a giant ferris wheel that, at it's apex, is 110m high which was a Guiness World Record in 1999(?) according to the automated voice that spoke to us in the box.
I have no idea why the Statue of Liberty is on Odaiba.
Tokyo Tower. I was rooted to the spot as I saw the blimp racing toward the tower in what could only result in a fiery disaster, but actually, that didn't happen.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Yamanashi - literally, "Mountain Pears".
The land of fresh air, fruit trees, mountains, and the best onsen (hot spring) I have ever been to. Also, it is the home of my grandparents, a fact which renders the aforementioned features to a merely complementary role.
Ojiichan and Obaachan! Also known as my mother's parents, or Takehiko and Tsutako Okada. I am sure you will note their casual yet elegant fashion. Why is it my grandparents can dress better than I?
Ojiichan and Tola in my grandparent's sitting room. You cannot fail to notice that Ojiichan has a charming smile ; also that Tola is obviously smitten.
These bamboo dragonflies are but one example of my grandfather's exceptional skill in handicrafts. Anything from glass bead-work, to little magic trick contraptions to amaze even the most skeptical schoolchild. The bamboo dragonflies pictured above are an amazing creation: they balance themselves in the air with their nose dug into the tip of (in this case) a tiny bamboo stalk. I actually managed to balance one on the end of my FINGERNAIL. They just float there, their bodies parallel with the ground...
Here are two of them perched on the same twig. The key is in the forward angle of the wings.
Aiko, Ojiichan and Obachan's tiny dog. She waits for Ojiichan as he gets his shoes on inside... she just waits... waits... ears perked, eyes alert.
Yaaay! Ojiichan!
Tola does not like dogs.
Taking a drive in the old van which, even when it's in 4th gear, sounds like it's in 1st.
Ojiichan preparing mochi which are pounded rice cakes. Traditional Japanese new year's food.
Mount Fuji.
Tola
The land of fresh air, fruit trees, mountains, and the best onsen (hot spring) I have ever been to. Also, it is the home of my grandparents, a fact which renders the aforementioned features to a merely complementary role.
Ojiichan and Obaachan! Also known as my mother's parents, or Takehiko and Tsutako Okada. I am sure you will note their casual yet elegant fashion. Why is it my grandparents can dress better than I?
Ojiichan and Tola in my grandparent's sitting room. You cannot fail to notice that Ojiichan has a charming smile ; also that Tola is obviously smitten.
These bamboo dragonflies are but one example of my grandfather's exceptional skill in handicrafts. Anything from glass bead-work, to little magic trick contraptions to amaze even the most skeptical schoolchild. The bamboo dragonflies pictured above are an amazing creation: they balance themselves in the air with their nose dug into the tip of (in this case) a tiny bamboo stalk. I actually managed to balance one on the end of my FINGERNAIL. They just float there, their bodies parallel with the ground...
Here are two of them perched on the same twig. The key is in the forward angle of the wings.
Aiko, Ojiichan and Obachan's tiny dog. She waits for Ojiichan as he gets his shoes on inside... she just waits... waits... ears perked, eyes alert.
Yaaay! Ojiichan!
Tola does not like dogs.
Taking a drive in the old van which, even when it's in 4th gear, sounds like it's in 1st.
Ojiichan preparing mochi which are pounded rice cakes. Traditional Japanese new year's food.
Mount Fuji.
Tola
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
YOKOHAMA: Funahashi Family.
Left to right: Uncle Eisuke (holding Harry), Aunt Eiko (holding Peta), Tola, Rieko, Jun, Hidemi.
The man.
Eiko (my Dad's "baby sister") and Jun.
The Anglican church where my parents got married exactly 28 years ago!!
Yokohama Chinatown.
Under the bridge.
Yokohama harbor-front.
Left to right: Uncle Eisuke (holding Harry), Aunt Eiko (holding Peta), Tola, Rieko, Jun, Hidemi.
The man.
Eiko (my Dad's "baby sister") and Jun.
Rieko (Jun's wife) and Tola, staring.
The Anglican church where my parents got married exactly 28 years ago!!
An old car in Motomachi , a posh shopping district of old Yokohama.
A door made just for me.
A door made just for me.
Yokohama Chinatown. 
Under the bridge.
Yokohama harbor-front. 
Bay Bridge.
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