The Adventures That Happen In Any Given Day Of Ken's Life In Kudamatsu, Japan.
As the crucial moment crept closer and closer still, I prepared myself for the encounter. Finally, after much creeping, I was face to face with my adversary. I steeled myself, and her, with a steely look. She couldn't meet my eyes. I knew it was only a matter of time before this fierce battle of wills would be outcomed.
Suddenly, without any warning, she asked me, "Would you like a bag with that?". I testily told her that no, I did not need a bag, I could put the case of Cup Noodles in my backpack, thank you. To which she retorted, "That will be 670 yen, please". I reached slowly and deliberately for my wallet, all the time with my eyes trained on my foe. The man in line behind me told me to hurry the hell up, he was in a hurry. I paid my due and was walking away with dignity when, suddenly, without any warning, again, she called me back. I had forgotten my point card.
The sky outside was clear and sunny, with clouds spread liberally throughout. I smelled trouble in the air - and I was soon proved right. No sooner had I mounted my bicycle when two of my male students materialized in front of me. I eyed them carelessly at first, but then more carefully. I noticed they both were wearing their school uniforms and were smiling. All of this takes time to write down but in reality took half a minute to observe. They burst out, in unison, "oh! Ken! How are you?". I started, then stopped. Why would they want to know how I am? What business is it of theirs? Should I be anything other than fine? Why were they pressing the issue? But then I recalled that they were junior high first graders and as such, this greeting was nearly the extent of their English conversation skills. I relaxed the corners of my eyes a bit.
"I'm fine," I said, "how are you?"
"I'm fine, and you?", they replied cheerfully.
My sixth sense was reactivated immediately -- how very curious that they would ask me how I was when I had just told them I was fine! As I was thinking this aloud, they reached for me, ostensibly to shake my hand, but I saw the danger in their eyes. I moved like lightning - first chopping the first boy on the thumb to stun him, and then judo-flipping him through the window. The second boy proved tougher but I overcame him using my superior height, reach, weight, strength, age, and taser.
Safely back in my apartment with a half-empty bottle of Medium-Amber Canadian 100% Pure Maple Syrup, I reflected on the morning and thanked my lucky stars that I had watched all those Steven Seagal movies. As I took off my Chinese-style tunic and undid my ponytail, I realized that I was winded. Better start running again, I thought. Tomorrow, though. Today is for me.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Mysterious Mini-Matsuri.
A few weeks ago, there was a little neighbourhood festival in Kudamatsu near Junko's (Brett's girlfriend) house. It was mysterious because nobody knew what it was called, or what it celebrated, or how it came about. But it was great! Lots of people dressed up in either a) traditional yukata kimonos, or b) as various superheroes and villians from Japanese cartoons. I couldn't figure it out, but it was a good time.
Brett, Junko, and Junko's friend.
The festival was dominated by this raised platform on which drummers took turns thumping out a beat to which an old man sitting at a table would sing, non-stop, for what seemed like hours. It was quite awesome. Around this platform people danced or paraded about in time the music.
I have no idea.
A few weeks ago, there was a little neighbourhood festival in Kudamatsu near Junko's (Brett's girlfriend) house. It was mysterious because nobody knew what it was called, or what it celebrated, or how it came about. But it was great! Lots of people dressed up in either a) traditional yukata kimonos, or b) as various superheroes and villians from Japanese cartoons. I couldn't figure it out, but it was a good time.
Brett, Junko, and Junko's friend.
The festival was dominated by this raised platform on which drummers took turns thumping out a beat to which an old man sitting at a table would sing, non-stop, for what seemed like hours. It was quite awesome. Around this platform people danced or paraded about in time the music.
I have no idea.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
"That's a lawsuit waiting to happen!"
This is a phrase I taught my eikaiwa (English conversation class) peeps. An eikaiwa is a small group of unusual people who are dedicated (to varying degrees) to being conversant in the English language. My group, which has about 7 or 8 regular members, is actually really really awesome both in terms of English proficiency and just being friendly and amicable with each other and with me. We meet every Wednesday evenings for two hours and just talk about anything. Periodically I'll write a phrase or word on the board that is useful or somehow relevant to the conversation.
"That's a lawsuit waiting to happen!" was introduced when we were talking about teaching; the teacher's role, the teacher's relationship and conduct with the students, etc. In Canada or the U.S., for a teacher to lay a finger on a student in ANY way is pretty much your job, or a lawsuit, right? In Japan, not so.
One of the men in the group is a retired math and chemistry teacher who now teaches "juku" (after hours cram school - where jr./sr. high schoolers go to relearn what they should've absorbed in regular school except that they were sleeping at the time) from his living room a few nights a week. Anyways, he was saying how if a kid gets out of line and just won't behave, he gives the student a "horse bite". A horse bite is simply grabbing a handful of someone's thigh and PINCHing with your whole hand. ["That's a lawsuit waiting to happen", I wrote on the board].
We got into a discussion then about how teachers no longer have any power to discipline students. "It's because parents are getting stupid. Before, teachers had respect, had authority. Their job was to teach not only lessons, but discipline and good conduct as well. Society ASKED teachers to teach their children. These days, parents ALLOW teachers to teach their children."
Since parents rule the teachers, and students rule the parents, teachers are often left feeling underappreciated, overworked, and without authority in their own classroom.
What a can of worms!
Discuss.
This is a phrase I taught my eikaiwa (English conversation class) peeps. An eikaiwa is a small group of unusual people who are dedicated (to varying degrees) to being conversant in the English language. My group, which has about 7 or 8 regular members, is actually really really awesome both in terms of English proficiency and just being friendly and amicable with each other and with me. We meet every Wednesday evenings for two hours and just talk about anything. Periodically I'll write a phrase or word on the board that is useful or somehow relevant to the conversation.
"That's a lawsuit waiting to happen!" was introduced when we were talking about teaching; the teacher's role, the teacher's relationship and conduct with the students, etc. In Canada or the U.S., for a teacher to lay a finger on a student in ANY way is pretty much your job, or a lawsuit, right? In Japan, not so.
One of the men in the group is a retired math and chemistry teacher who now teaches "juku" (after hours cram school - where jr./sr. high schoolers go to relearn what they should've absorbed in regular school except that they were sleeping at the time) from his living room a few nights a week. Anyways, he was saying how if a kid gets out of line and just won't behave, he gives the student a "horse bite". A horse bite is simply grabbing a handful of someone's thigh and PINCHing with your whole hand. ["That's a lawsuit waiting to happen", I wrote on the board].
We got into a discussion then about how teachers no longer have any power to discipline students. "It's because parents are getting stupid. Before, teachers had respect, had authority. Their job was to teach not only lessons, but discipline and good conduct as well. Society ASKED teachers to teach their children. These days, parents ALLOW teachers to teach their children."
Since parents rule the teachers, and students rule the parents, teachers are often left feeling underappreciated, overworked, and without authority in their own classroom.
What a can of worms!
Discuss.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Free Trip To Bangkok, Thailand.
My flight to Uganda gave me around 18 hours between flights with which to explore Bangkok (eight hours on the way there, nine on the way back). Awesome. I didn't really plan this trip - no Lonely Planet or anything - so I just sort of wandered about, occasionally peering at a very confusing tourist map provided at the airport.
The Emerald Buddha. The thing was so huge I couldn't fine my way in. At one point I found a gate that was open but when I inquired as to whether I could get in, the armed guards just kept repeating "No", so I left.
The Democracy Monument. I think.
The view from the back seat of a "tuk tuk". I think that's what it's called...those little three-wheeled go-carts with roofs that were made famous in the stellar Thai martial arts blockbuster, ONG BAK.
I sneaked through a random gate into a compound which turned out to be a monestary for monks in training. Bright orange-robes and shaved heads everywhere. Also, they were all walking on air, and bending spoons with their minds.
This is Azusa The Awesome. She sat beside me on the bus ride into downtown Bangkok (this is on the way back to Japan). We got to talking and it turns out she studied at a little college in BARRIE, Ontario for a year a few years ago!! Holy crap! That's (relatively) close to my hometown, BADEN. She asked me where I was from:
"Toronto.... well, outside Toronto. Do you know Kitchener-Waterloo? You DO?!! Just outside there." If she would've known Baden I would've probably had a heart attack.
Turns out that a) she speaks excellent English, b) is really cool, and c) also killing time before her flight back to Tokyo at midnight. So we decided to hang out and take the town by storm.
"Taking the town by storm" meant eating a lot of excellent food. One of these foods was this awesome juice stall which featured giant aloe vera and dragon fruit (below).
Also, street vendor-style pad-thai. So delish.
The last thing we did just before we cabbed back to the airport was get a Thai massage.
There are lots of Thai massage places in Khao San district (which is tourist central) but we decided on one that had the best pictures posted out front. We had to go up 3 flights of stairs and I was kind of wary about what kind of establishment we were getting into but we were in for a pleasant surprise. A big air-conditioned room with beautiful dark wood floor and about 8 crisp white mats on the floor with a perfect pillow on each. We ordered half an hour of foot massage and half an hour of Thai massage. Total bill: like $8 per person. It was absolute bliss. The PERFECT thing after (for me) 20 hours of travel which started on a dusty bus in Uganda. Thai massages are insanely awesome - especially if you get them in Thailand where they're dirt cheap.
Azusa at the new Bangkok airport - maaasssive and sparkly clean.
Pretty much the best urinal signage I have ever seen.
So there you have it. Awesome free side trip.
My flight to Uganda gave me around 18 hours between flights with which to explore Bangkok (eight hours on the way there, nine on the way back). Awesome. I didn't really plan this trip - no Lonely Planet or anything - so I just sort of wandered about, occasionally peering at a very confusing tourist map provided at the airport.
The Emerald Buddha. The thing was so huge I couldn't fine my way in. At one point I found a gate that was open but when I inquired as to whether I could get in, the armed guards just kept repeating "No", so I left.
The Democracy Monument. I think.
The view from the back seat of a "tuk tuk". I think that's what it's called...those little three-wheeled go-carts with roofs that were made famous in the stellar Thai martial arts blockbuster, ONG BAK.
I sneaked through a random gate into a compound which turned out to be a monestary for monks in training. Bright orange-robes and shaved heads everywhere. Also, they were all walking on air, and bending spoons with their minds.
This is Azusa The Awesome. She sat beside me on the bus ride into downtown Bangkok (this is on the way back to Japan). We got to talking and it turns out she studied at a little college in BARRIE, Ontario for a year a few years ago!! Holy crap! That's (relatively) close to my hometown, BADEN. She asked me where I was from:
"Toronto.... well, outside Toronto. Do you know Kitchener-Waterloo? You DO?!! Just outside there." If she would've known Baden I would've probably had a heart attack.
Turns out that a) she speaks excellent English, b) is really cool, and c) also killing time before her flight back to Tokyo at midnight. So we decided to hang out and take the town by storm.
"Taking the town by storm" meant eating a lot of excellent food. One of these foods was this awesome juice stall which featured giant aloe vera and dragon fruit (below).
Also, street vendor-style pad-thai. So delish. The last thing we did just before we cabbed back to the airport was get a Thai massage.
There are lots of Thai massage places in Khao San district (which is tourist central) but we decided on one that had the best pictures posted out front. We had to go up 3 flights of stairs and I was kind of wary about what kind of establishment we were getting into but we were in for a pleasant surprise. A big air-conditioned room with beautiful dark wood floor and about 8 crisp white mats on the floor with a perfect pillow on each. We ordered half an hour of foot massage and half an hour of Thai massage. Total bill: like $8 per person. It was absolute bliss. The PERFECT thing after (for me) 20 hours of travel which started on a dusty bus in Uganda. Thai massages are insanely awesome - especially if you get them in Thailand where they're dirt cheap.
Azusa at the new Bangkok airport - maaasssive and sparkly clean.
Pretty much the best urinal signage I have ever seen.So there you have it. Awesome free side trip.
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